“If you pay attention, there is a very important scene in the Room of Requirement when the fire is personified in each Hogwarts House. This shows that every House has two sides. Good and evil.” — David Yates
Reading about abusive men and the way they think. Very unsettling and an incredible book so far. Here are my very professional notes.
what book is this?
This is from “Why Does He DO That” by Lundy Bancroft.
I’m so glad I’m seeing more and more Lundy Bancroft quotes on my dash because this book CHANGES THE LIVES OF ABUSE VICTIMS.
The programs run for rehabilitating abusive men through the courts? Bancroft DESIGNED THEM. His programs are replicated ALL OVER THE WORLD.
He literally wrote THE book on abuser rehabilitation.
Here’s a link to a pdf copy. If you haven’t read this book yet, read this book.
Can we talk about how it seems like the entirety of the book is online on PDF, this making it accessible to anyone with an internet connection?
That is how we stop abuse.
We enable everyone to know what it looks like, so that when it happens, they can shut it down.
THERE ARE NO WORDS TO ADEQUATELY EXPRESS MY SHRIEKS OF JOY.
Coulson’s in the middle. I approve.
Flynn Rider has his priorities sorted.
Flynn Rider is the only sane person in Disney.
Maybe they’re related
Its the hair
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
oh my god, that was really violent
#HSE TOOK THE FINAL BATTLE #SHE TOOK IT AND BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA IT#YOU THINK TONY STARK SAVED THE DAY? HE DID NOT#IN HIS OWN MOVIE HE WAS NOT THE ONE TO DEFEAT THE ENEMY#HIS GIRLFRIEND KICKED THE MANDARIN’S ASS #AND IF YOU DO NOT THINK#THAT A WOMAN STEALING THE END FROM THE HERO #IS A GREAT THING#GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE #PEPPER POTTS FOR PRESIDENT#TONY STARK TO AWKWARDLY STARE AT HER IN AWE AND WITH A STRANGE BONER#sorry i got carried away (via starksexual)
BUT NO SERIOUSLY CAN WE TALK FOREVER ABOUT HOW SHE STOLE THE ENDING. Because as soon as you get the idea that she’s alive, you think “oh, she’s going to come in at the last second and land a few punches and give Tony - the hero - enough time to get back on his feet and finish the battle, while she cheers from the side lines.” Just. Like. Every. Other. Movie. And then she FINISHES THE BATTLE. SHE KILLS HIM.
#also can we talk about how one man in that movie treated Pepper as an Object#as a prize to be won#as a lure for Tony Stark#what happened to that man I wonder?#PEPPER POTTS FUCKING KILLED HIM#PEPPER POTTS IS A GODDESS
Okay. But let’s talk about Thor for a second. Thor does not get enough love and (Loki forgive me) he is honestly one of the best fucking characters Marvel has. And it’s shown so simply and so beautifully right here. He is so fucking chill about everything. Obviously, he doesn’t live in space, he lives in Asgard. But he knows everyone thinks he’s kinda like an alien, and he just goes along with it because why not? These humans are funny in their lack of understanding, but it’s an endearing kind of funny. Just like in the first movie, where Darcy tells him to smile so she can take a picture of him and he has no fucking clue what she’s doing or what a phone is and it could kill him for all he knows but he just fucking smiles and keeps eating his delicious pancakes because he’s just so chill like that. And if you look at his face in the first gif, it’s very serious and concentrated but the moment Darcy starts talking to him he loosens up and is like “Muscles? Ah, yes I suppose I am quite muscular. Oh, she’s inquiring about Asgard. But she called it space. She seems confused as to my origins, but it’s not of import. I like space, that’s a good name. I shall call it space too.”
And that little head nod he does back to her in the last gif. I’m dead. Deceased. Murdered from Thor cuteness.
He’s just.. ugh, Thor doesn’t get enough appreciation. There are so many little things he does that go ignored but no more. His complete adorableness will be appreciated.
I DIDN’T NOTICE THE LITTLE NOD BACK /SCREEEEEEEEE
Oh my god this looks like a hipster post but it’s just the king of hell
not enough hipster galaxy overlay
there we go
Still not hipster enough, we need some profound and meaningless words on this.
Meaningless and profound enough?
Can someone tweet this to Mark…
This is like Jim all over again
Misha Collins, ladies and gentlemen.
Harry was the favorite kid and he wasn’t even an official part of the family
Because Molly knows exactly how the Dursleys treat him. There’s no way Ron wouldn’t tell her. And Molly Weasley is a Mother. She gets a capital M because she is goddamn phenomenal at what she does. When she hears Harry Potter is on the train to Hogwarts in Book 1, her reaction isn’t to be starstruck. It’s to say “that poor dear had to come here all on his own.” Molly Weasley loves harder than anyone. She loves like it’s her sole reason for being. And when she hears there’s a poor boy who has never known love his whole life… how could she not?
In Year One Molly Weasley knit Harry a Weasley family sweater and made him homemade chocolate so he would have something to open on Christmas DON’T TOUCH ME
could I also just add that kids from abusive households tend to assume that yelling is directed at them and/or it heralds something bad for them so she’s making extra sure that he knows that this is not his fault and she’s not actually mad at him.
If you take a young man and woman and they both tell a stranger that they work in the same restaurant, it’s very likely that they will assume that the woman is the waitress, and the young man a cook.
But I thought a woman’s place was in the kitchen? Not when she’s being paid for it. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize the implication of this. A woman’s place is one of servitude.
if you identify as cis but haven’t actually taken time to sit down and examine and analyze your gender identity, it’s probably time to do that otherwise you’ve just given in to society forcing a significant part of your identity upon you.
if someones comfortable with their gender identity to the point that its not even on their mind then theres no need for them to analyse it
THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE THING
what if bryan fuller replaced everyone with david bowie for an episode with zero explanation. david bowie as alana bloom. david bowie as kade purnell. david bowie as all eight of will’s dogs. all bowie, all the time.
Somebody make bryan fuller find the thing